By: Shodo
Comments: 1
Summary: found a publisher, got the book ready to publish, planned a book tour in east and Midwest (Minnesota to New England to Georgia and back home), gave lots of talks, had an amazing time visiting a few dozen Zen centers, being treated like an honored guest again and again. Came home in December and took a long rest.
Winter/spring focus was on the book: settling on Sea Crow Press as the publisher – then final editing, title, and getting the book to print by its official publication date, September 2. Through the summer I planned the book tour, made commitments for speaking and travel, began giving online talks, and more planning.
I’ve had a Wednesday night online class for years now. While I was away, Ananda Christopher Modec-Halverson, a class member and a priest in training with Rev. Tim Burkett, led the class and managed things, with my great thanks.
People ask me where I went, so here’s the list:
In September I spent a weekend giving talks in Duluth (MN), more online talks, Minneapolis, Rochester Women’s Spirituality Conference – and packing. Then Madison, Wisconsin. Milwaukee. Chicago. Cleveland. Rochester, New York. Vermont – staying with a dear friend, plus a whole bunch of Zen places, plus Mercy Ecospirituality Center, plus two bookstore talks. Three days at Zen Center North Shore in Massachusetts, including talks, zazen together, potlucks, and Earth Apprentice workshops in a garden and in the woods. New York City. Philadelphia (a Quaker group), Reading, [insert a week retreat on Assateague Island, more on that later]. Staying at Dassanaya, speaking at All Beings Sangha (D.C. area), then Chapel Hill Zen Center, Great Tree in Asheville (just a visit), and Atlanta for a week of rest with family plus a bookstore and a workshop. Bloomington Indiana, old friends. Michigan, old friends and a bookstore and snowed in for a day. Chicago (new friends and mad talking), home, collapse.




Everywhere, I was warmly received, well treated, hosted generously, met with fascinating people old and new, and given gifts. I still have to look through my notes and write to all my hosts and helpers.
It was a time out of ordinary life, hard to describe, and important in a way I can’t name yet. I had a free week and I spent it camping on Assateague Island, with its long beaches and wild ponies. I was looking for a retreat and meditation time. I had my little tent, double sleeping bag, and a borrowed Coleman stove.
How can I speak of the beauty? I watched the sun rise every morning, watched the moon rise every evening, walked for hours along the beach and on the trails. I watched the wave, the birds, picked up horseshoe crab shells. They made me.
Mornings were cold (snow pants and down jacket) and cool the rest of the day. No bugs, but lots of blowing sand. My cell phone broke on the second day; I decided to live without it. No photos. Just walking, walking, walking. Long nights. Wind and blowing sand. On Wednesday night the sand was blowing into my tent, through the screen. Finally I gave up and moved into the car – which I hadn’t thought possible. It was crowded but I stayed there and was able to sleep.
It was too cold and windy and sandy to sit zazen, which had been the main plan for my six days. There were no shelters, except inside the car. (The shower stalls might have worked, but it didn’t feel right.) I walked and walked, got tired. Barefoot on the sand, shoes on the paths, and on the longer walks. I didn’t know what time it was. I didn’t choose to try a cold shower. Did a couple of sponge baths. Didn’t care about food, except the most basic.
Nothing mattered: minimal food, water, shelter, warmth. Long nights, long sleep, and getting up into full winter gear. Just once I built a fire. Nights were long, but I did nothing with them except sleep and not-sleep.
I knew I’d talk about this, but it wasn’t clear while I recovered my energy and started to meet with people again. Today, six weeks later, what I think is that I made my offering to the ocean, the sky, the full moon, the birds and wildness, and they did something. I don’t yet know what. I talk all the time about letting ourselves be witnessed, be created, about offering prayers and offering ourselves to those vast unspeakable beings. But in the moment, I didn’t recognize what was happening. I spent most of December recovering, seeking balance, and resting.
Every time I drove, I watched fall colors – not quite two months, they finally ended when I left Atlanta in late November. Coming into Michigan for Thanksgiving, I drove into the first winter storm, and then snow and cold were the world. The photos are from throughout the trip, and the large photo is my little car that went safely 5000 miles. All Beings Zen Sangha is inside the large apartment building.




The gifts, the treasures! I can’t name them all. The sweater that I wore it every day until finally needed to wash it. The best honey ever, the maple syrup, and the warm eyes, the enthusiasm and love, the kindnesses,, the rides, the conversations, so many small treasure.
There are many ways to be a Zen center, or a temple – and all beautiful. I’ve learned something, which can cook inside me during the three-week January intensive at Green Gulch, where I lived for a while 20+ years ago.
Everything is overthrown. The path waits to be re-discovered. I can name these things now.
All this takes place in today’s United States, with ICE raids, criminalization of protest, destruction of social services, personal freedoms, and science. Vast sums of money taken from human services and sent to billionaires and dictators around the world. I did join the first local organizing group I could find, and spent the summer as one of the organizers of protests and vigils in Northfield. When I return to local action, it probably will be about the raids, and/or the data centers. I need to be careful with time and energy.
As I’ve been watching the open destruction of the semblance of democracy, simultaneous with genocidal assaults on Palestine, undeclared war on Venezuela and now Nigeria, and a clown being allowed to spend our tax money freely to enrich his friends, free criminals, and abuse immigrants legal or not – I’ve also watched people rise up, particularly protecting immigrants, and finally even a few arrests of ICE thugs. While media giants, universities, and law firms bend the knee. While the Presidency is still held by a man known to be a pedophile and rapist, suspected of trafficking children for exploitation. Suspicions that the disappeared victims of ICE may be trafficked too, though that has not emerged publicly.
When I talk with a friend or relative with brown skin, I check in on whether they’re okay. The last such person had a close call – he was stopped, but the crowd of witnesses filming and blowing whistles scared off the ICE thugs. That is way too close. I read all the stories that come to me. And Palestine and Ukraine – and Venezuela, Nigeria, and who next? – they’re in my heart and my prayers. (Actually I chant for them, in a Buddhist way.) Finally I see a little resistance from state governments, from Congress, more from judges, and pray to avoid the chaos, or decades of fascism. Personally, I do some preparation for collapse, but not enough.
First and most important, please do chanting, prayers, and ceremony of whatever sort you do: For the peacemakers, for the heroes, for the victims, and for the return to sanity of the thieves and abusers and thugs. (I use this chant, page 3, as part of morning service, but please do whatever you like.)
Second, if you would like me to fully continue this work (which includes Zen practice and engaged practice) money is helpful. There isn’t a detailed budget here, but $30,000 would certainly cover this year and allow me to stay full time. If you know grant-making organizations or people who would like to support this work, please help. Part-time or temporary work gigs might also be helpful.
Third, in spring or summer I expect to be welcoming people to practice here. There are some words about that on the website, so I won’t say much now.
Shodo
For Mountains and Waters Alliance
I’m so thankful for you and the work that you do. Your energy in this world is so needed. Thank you. (no need to reply)